My Life Motto:
”Go confidently into the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you always imagined.”
~H.D. Thoreau
Step 1: My Turning
Point--What Compelled My Quest for a Simple Life
In
1997, my life was going through quite a lot of transition—job,
school, and personal relationship. I had just graduated from college
at age 27, had a 9 to 5 job at a corporation as a technical writer
and worked for a stereotypical not so nice manager, was up to my
eyes in debt, and was unhappy in my personal relationship.
The
turning point came when I quit my job to take another job out of
state with the government as a border patrol agent for the
Immigration and Naturalization Service. However this was not to be.
Just two days before I left to report for duty and 22 weeks of basic
training, I fell ill with a severe case of mononucleosis, a virus
based illness that causes fatigue, weakness, and severe joint pain.
The mono kept me bed ridden for almost five months, and it took
nearly two years to get my energy back and to feel good again.
So
there I was, ill, mostly bed-ridden, jobless, and in a faltering
relationship. And although this was the most trying time I have ever
experienced in my life, it was actually the most life changing. An
interesting thing occurred, forced to slow down, I was able to use
this “downtime” to really think about where my life was headed and
what direction I wanted it to go. Basically, I wondered what mark
would my having existed make on the earth: what would be the
“generativity” or value that I would leave behind for succeeding
generations so to speak.
Step 2:
Experiencing Generativity vs. Stagnation at Age 27
Generativity is a concept put forth
by
Erik Erikson, an early 20th century psychologist.
Erikson developed an 8-stage theory of psychological development. He
believed that each individual passes through eight developmental
stages called "psychosocial stages." Each stage is characterized by
a different psychological "crisis," which must be resolved by the
individual before moving on to the next stage. If a person copes
with a particular crisis in a maladaptive manner, the outcome will
be more struggles with that issue later in life.
Erikson used generativity to refer to an adult's ability to look
outside oneself and care for others, through parenting. For
instance. He suggested that adults need children as much as children
need adults, and that this stage reflects the need to create a
living legacy.
Stage
7-Generativity versus Stagnation is the struggle or “crisis” that
occurs for most people in middle adulthood between the ages of 40 to
65. The positive outcome is that people can solve this
crisis by having and nurturing children, or by helping the next
generation in other ways. The negative outcome is that
people who fail to successfully resolve this crisis will remain
self-centered and experience stagnation later in life.
For
me, generativity became a question that demanded an answer, and
compelled me to begin the journey of finding the purpose and
importance of my life.
Step 3: Experiencing Positive &
Profound Changes at a Cellular Level
I found myself undergoing some very
profound changes mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the
better. Later I found out that my illness was just the beginning of
a
kundilini awakening, or a spiritual awakening that occurs at a
cellular level. I decided that instead of going back into a typical
unfulfilling de-humanizing job, I would create my own business
providing companies with contract technical writing, instructional
design, graphic design, web design, and project management services
by working out of my home.
Step 4: Purging the Excess and
All its Burdens
I also began the process of purging
all of the excess material possessions I had accumulated over 27
years of consumer-centered living. Like most Americans, I used
shopping as a means of entertainment and could never pass up a
“bargain” even when I didn’t need or desire it. I thought that by
having all the material things I wanted I would be happy and
fulfilled. The only thing was fulfillment and happiness gained from
each new purchase was fleeting and gone even before I took the tags
off my purchases. And the debt accumulated from these “feel good”
purchases lasted for years.
Step 5: Money and My Financial
Dilemma
I was also living in complete denial about my financial situation.
It was out of control and a complete mess. I was living paycheck to
paycheck, spending it as fast or faster than it came in. Moreover, I
hadn’t balanced my checkbook in years. On the positive side, the
only thing I did manage to do faithfully was to pay my bills on time
every time and had managed to build a solid credit rating.
Step
6: Starting Anew
So with my new awakening I began reclaiming my life from chaos one
small step at a time. The need to purge this chaos was overwhelming.
In response to this all-consuming desire, I began the process of
purging everything that detracted from my quality of life—everything
including my relationship, so-called friends that had a habit of
always taking and never giving, possessions, and old ideas and
habits.
I
immediately moved out of the house I shared with my partner and
rented the bottom of my best friend’s house. While moving, I took
the opportunity to purge all of the unnecessary material items that
I had accumulated over the years. I resolved to let some friendships
go since I wasn’t receiving personal enjoyment from them and
actually felt taken advantage most of the time. I also terminated my
membership with several organizations that I wasn’t enjoying.
Step 7: Lessons Learned Along the
Journey
It took just a month to complete the purge of my faltering
relationship and material possessions, but it took years to purge
old habits, ideas, and thought patterns. I read books on right
livelihood, spiritual awakening, downshifting, voluntary simplicity,
and environmentalism.
Each step
was both enlightening and sometimes painful. Ultimately though each
step brought me to a higher level of consciousness and understanding
of my true life’s purpose. By living the simple life and sharing my
knowledge with others through classes, speaking events, and my
Simple & Frugal website, I hope to help others who find
themselves in an unsatisfying chaos filled life find simplicity.
Step
8: Along the Journey
After almost eight years I am still on the never-ending journey
toward a simple and frugal life. I have come a long long way since
those first days and continue to learn, grow, and evolve with each
new aspect I read, learn, and experience along my simple living
journey. And unlike other journeys with a destination, I’m glad that
the simple living journey doesn’t have a destination. Instead it is
one that is an ever changing and ever evolving process; one that is
unique for each person brave enough to take it.
Step
9: My Life Today
Today my life is one filled with joy, opportunities, possibilities,
true friends, and contentment. In short, I spend time with the
people I love doing the things I love. I’ve reached a level of
happiness that I never would have dreamed was possible just eight
years ago.
Step 10: My Journey Continues…
I
guess you could say that I am going in the direction of my dreams
and am living the life I always imagined thanks to simple and frugal
living. ~by: Jona E. Kessans |
